So its been sometime since I last wrote on here so lets catch you up with my last six months! My life has been a roller coaster that wouldn't stop until the HUGE MASSIVE CRASH! So six months ago I started a self discovery journey. I started accepting a lot about myself and events in my life that I could not prevent. This came with the help a book my therapist gave me The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety. It gave me a lot incites in ways I never thought of, but because of this I started something called Radical Acceptance. I happened to be accepting so much in my life so fast that it turned my life upside down! And I probably should mention this happened in a 15 week period and I was taking 5 gen eds, 5 dances classes and still doing weekly voice lessons. So really nothing new with my busy life. But with that element it kinda changes things just a tad. Usually acceptance on many life matters takes a lot longer than 15 weeks (At least the big ones at least). But because of this, I had many puzzle pieces on the ground that I needed to pick up to keep moving forward. I cannot describe how many pieces were on the ground. It emotionally got to me and I started another phase called Emotional Indigestion. This started right around when I went on my trip to New York. Kinda of a sucky time for that start in my opinion, but life happens. I was grateful that the city I dearly love became a distraction for a week. Then after the trip, I really just was trying to survive day to day just to function and keep moving forward. I started school and then got cast in a dream show I have always wanted to be part of! HAIR! Then rehearsals and school were in full swing with the emotional indigestion at its most intense stage and then about half way through the semester I finally hit the brick wall I was waiting for and I was a mess! The brick wall started with a nice car crash. My car was almost totaled but I was ok is more importantly and I was not hurt. I then became not emotionally stable (it was so bad at some points to where you could just give me a look and I would loose it), my panic attacks were out of control (which I had not had this many in years.), plus I wasn't functioning anymore and just was ready to throw in the towel. Thankfully I had people at my side when this happened because I am pretty sure I would be out of school by now if it weren't the case. I am grateful for my therapist Dr. Sherline Dean, Lisa, Craig, Chelsea, Jaydynn, Elder Horton, and my voice teacher Brian for helping me guide me. Its been a journey I will never forget.
Its been 30 weeks and I have picked up the pieces to keep moving forward. I am functioning and my panic attacks are more just worrying now (which I just worry all the time because Im so hard on myself! I decided I cannot do that to myself anymore because its only going to hurt me.), And Emotionally.... Well Im still not fully back to normal Dylan emotion scale but I can only do so much. I got to take it one day at a time. And for what I have been through these past 30 weeks is more of a miracle! I was not the same person 30 weeks ago. I have been inspired, uplifted, and rejuvenated into a individual.
I Will Not Be Someone Else! I am Dylan and Dylan is an individual. I am finding the Balance to MY life. Though this is a life process I know I am an individual and though times can be rough I will always have people at my side that love me.
Thank you for all who read my blog. I appreciate it. Life is a discovery and we will always have it if you keep an open mind and heart to the world. Discovery happens everywhere. Its not as far away as you think. Its right next to you surprisingly. Look for the Positives and live life to the fullest.
Peace and Love :)
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