Human beings are very complex and messy. Human nature itself is a complicated structure to fully understand as a whole. But what we can know about humans is through our own experiences and what we interpret from others. Just recently I was in a dance class at BDC (Broadway Dance Center) and we were discussing being true and honest with ourselves from moment to moment while telling a story. This often brings things out of people that 'they' and many other people do not want people to see. It is the ugly within ourselves that we often try to hide or facade from others to try or gain others approval. To show how you truly feel from moment to moment I actually think is very vulnerable and brave. It is not easy. It is one of the reasons I love acting because living from moment to moment is like roller coaster. Life really is a roller coaster. You can create feelings but really living and just letting everything go around you and having a sense of that surrounding and being brave to truly express how you feel I find is absolutely beautiful no matter how ugly it gets.
Lately I have been having a hard time being vulnerable and open to how I feel in my personal life. Embracing my ugly is something I have been exploring the last week or two in understanding why being vulnerable has been hard for me. Being vulnerable is something I would describe as sensitive and delicate. To be vulnerable is to be open, honest, revealing. In knowledge of that, we must also understand we as humans will have shields. We would never survive as a human if we didn't have some sort of protection for ourselves. Humans are messy. Every human has a heart and no one wants their heart, mind, soul or being stomped on and thrown out the window into the garbage shoot.
But here is my question to you: When does shielding yourself become of a hindrance to the human experience?
Personally. I had a lot barriers around me when I was younger. During my teenage years I feel I put so many shields up to protect myself that in many ways I feel I was not living. I was just trying to survive. I can vividly remember trying take down many of my barriers in college. I remember it was a really rough experience. Embracing the good and the bad of me was not easy. And I don't think its easy for anyone really. Being honest with yourself and seeing all the colors of your being is like a dynamic pool of vibrations that never stops. Our colors will change from time to time but we have to embrace the ugly of it all.
Now I ask you this. What about enjoying the ugly? Is it so bad to allow ourselves to look in a mirror and say its ok that this part of who I am is ugly? To acknowledge the baggage that we carry is sometimes ugly and know that its ok. If we can accept who we are then life's doors will open. Others will embrace you and your ugly. Granted saying this is a lot easier said than done. 'The fact of storytelling hints at a fundamental human unease, hints at human imperfection. Where there is perfection there is no story to tell.'-Ben Okri As my mentor and manager has always told me 'Our imperfections are our greatest beauties.' Embracing the Ugly sometimes is exactly what we need in our lives. Live to Love. Live to be You. Live to be Free. Embracing who we are and facing the ugly sides of ourselves can be hard but if we try to open up and talk about it with the ones we trust and love, it is then we start living.
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
Thursday, June 18, 2015
The Discovery of my Wants and Needs.
I started talking to someone recently and they suggested I start writing on my blog again. So here I am taking yet another crack at it. I figure most people who say they have blogs tend to get the response of 'This is where you drop my baggage blog.' Hopefully that is not the case here as you read this. I will tell you my point of view and feelings about topics and life itself in my own way but allow the artist in me to live from moment to moment as I write.
Almost a year ago I left my family, friends, and a past life of living in Utah behind me so I could live a dream I have had for a long time. Driving across the United States by myself one of the most craziest things I have ever done. I look back now and wonder how I did it. After a four day drive across the U.S. I have not driven all that much since then. But as I started my journey to NYC, I really was in a bind with my life. Now lets back track here so you understand my bind. Months earlier I was still in college working on multiple projects with the University of Utah. One being an original production and the other being a classic musical that is loved by all. (Before I go any further I want to mention how each production at the University of Utah really did a lot good in my life. Creating a musical with an awesome group of artists and being able to play with them is something I will always cherish and be grateful for.) During that time I was One ready to be done with the whole college thing, Two hated what I was doing and Three I was just burnt out. I had put so much work into what I really wanted and I felt like a fly on the wall a good chunk of the time. This brought to question 'Is this what I really want?' If this is how I feel now why would I want to keep doing this for the rest of my life?! So I looked around to see if there was something else I could do that could be just as fulfilling to me as an acting career. With not a whole lot of luck in that department. I took the advice of teacher and mentor of mine and decided to travel the world a little bit and gain a new perspective of the world. Something I did know is that if I didn't travel the world before or very shortly after my college graduation that I would never do it so I ended up going on a six week study abroad to the UK and traveled to three countries. This was by far one of the best decisions I ever made. Life itself opened its doors to me. I felt so loved and culturally fulfilled in that time I had in Europe. It also opened my eyes of why I loved theatre. But I still brought into question. 'Is this what I really want?' An artists life is not easy. There is a lot of unknown. I still had enough faith in myself to move to NYC and make it work because I did know this. I was meant to live in NYC. I knew that I would be happy in NYC. I loved the two previous summers in NYC I was lucky enough to spend in NYC and I knew enough people there that I would be alright.
Back to July 2014. I move to NYC get my life in order start working two jobs and meeting some of the coolest people I have ever met. My personal life was going great. My work life felt like a complete mess. I was not happy. I was not doing what I really wanted to do. So I ended up quitting one of the jobs and decided it was time to get back into the swing of things and give my acting career an actual shot after a six month hiatus. I figured why not? What do I have to lose here? Got back into the swing of things and I remember saying this to myself. I have to do this more me and no one else. I know that may come off as being jealous, selfish or pious but I really never really took the time to love what I did and love who I was within the art I love. It was more like a rebirth for myself. I learned to love who I was. I learned that I was enough. I also learned I really did not know my gifts they way I thought I did. I still don't. I have more knowledge of them now but I still got a lifetime to go to understand myself and my gifts. I would go to my vocal coaches, manager, and countless others to hear the same thing that I had a gift and I needed to share it. So I started going to auditions in January and started snagging callbacks and some singing gigs here and there. But during the audition season at times I was still wondering Is this what I want? After many conversations with my mother and myself trying to figure out what I was doing with my life I ended up realizing that I am right where I need to be and that Acting is the career for me. I don't know what else could truly make me happy and fulfilled. Yeah its tough. Tougher than I thought at times but I am so glad I moved to NYC to go for a career I have always wanted.
Now onto my personal life. So when I moved to NYC I told myself that I needed a friend base that was not in the realm of Theatre. I knew when moving to NYC that if all my friends where in the same business as me I would go nuts. Don't get me wrong. I love artists but there is much more to life than art. Luckily I was fortunate enough to find friends really quickly here in NYC. They have supported me through my highs and my lows and I have done the same for their lives. NYC is one of the greatest cities in the world. But with that greatness can come a sucker punch to the stomach also. NYC will chew you up, spit you out and stomp on you if you are not watching. I have been fortunate enough to be able to talk to people and have support with my friends during those times and have been able to talk about serious, crazy, funny, and odd Dylan moments throughout the week.
Usually the only time I ever really see my friends is on the weekends and something my group of friends do every Sunday evening is have a Waffle Night. We meet at someones apartment and we have an unlimited amount of waffles and whatever else we decide to bring to munch on and enjoy each others company. This group activity has made friendships stronger and also allowed us to debate and have food for thought on many theological, philosophical, political and religious ideas. Usually when you have a group of words like theological, political, and religious ideas mixed in together you are spelling trouble and argument all over it. What is so interesting about this combo of words in this group is that it always comes with an interesting outlook to things. The point of view on the topics always has everyone thinking and exploring other possibilities. Many times the discussion get can so complex that I feel like the most uneducated person in the room. I have a few friends that are too smart for my own good.
I have been very fortunate to be able to have a group of friends here in NYC listen to me and enjoy who I am. Throughout my life I have seen people come and go and the ones that have ended up staying in my life are the ones that never mention to much about my acting career and focus on bigger picture. Something that I have found interesting is when people tell me to remember them when I am famous or when they only want to hear what I do as an actor and don't want to know anything else about me, it shows me that the relationship is bound to be a 2 dimensional friendship. Please don't get me wrong I don't mind you asking me what I have going on in my career. But if that's all you care about and you only just want to be able to say oh I knew him before he became big then that's ridiculous of you to think I am going to invest my time and energy into you. Thing is It Scares the Shit out of me thinking about Fame, Fortune, Glory etc.. A lot of those things come with a cost and also are just baggage to what I want to do. And the odds of me being famous are pretty low. Its not even something I see happening in my life. I just want to Live moment to moment. I don't want to worry about Fame and those things. Its just baggage. At the end of the day I just want to be able to do what I love and be happy and content with myself. That is something that I have really been trying to fulfill in my life these last few years. Living in Utah was hard for me. I felt ostracized, unwelcome, unloved, and not worth much. I was very unhappy at times while living in Utah during my Jr High, High School and College years because I knew I would happier somewhere else. Your question may be Why didn't I just go to NYC and move on with my life when I had the opportunity earlier in life? Well timing was not right and my education was important for me to complete. I am grateful to this day I ended up staying in Utah for as long as I did. It made me a very strong independent person. I have made this comment before and I will say it again. As much as I do not like Plain City I do have to thank the people of Plain City for giving me some pretty thick skin. It definitely has made life little easier for me since I left 5 years ago. And if anyone thinks I am coming back to live in Plain City you are out of your mind.
I am different.
I have a point of view.
I am not afraid to be me.
I want to have an acting career.
I am someone who just wants to be happy and content at the end of the day.
I need family and friends who will be at my side.
I need to be able to love myself.
I need to be able to express myself
I need to be able to open my heart and let someone in my life to love me for who I am.
I am me and no one can take that away from me.
NYC has made me a better person and I don't intend going anywhere else. My discoveries of my wants and needs in life are not going to easy to always have in balance. But what I do know is this. I know what I want and need in life. Knowledge is power my friends.
Peace and Love,
Dylan
Almost a year ago I left my family, friends, and a past life of living in Utah behind me so I could live a dream I have had for a long time. Driving across the United States by myself one of the most craziest things I have ever done. I look back now and wonder how I did it. After a four day drive across the U.S. I have not driven all that much since then. But as I started my journey to NYC, I really was in a bind with my life. Now lets back track here so you understand my bind. Months earlier I was still in college working on multiple projects with the University of Utah. One being an original production and the other being a classic musical that is loved by all. (Before I go any further I want to mention how each production at the University of Utah really did a lot good in my life. Creating a musical with an awesome group of artists and being able to play with them is something I will always cherish and be grateful for.) During that time I was One ready to be done with the whole college thing, Two hated what I was doing and Three I was just burnt out. I had put so much work into what I really wanted and I felt like a fly on the wall a good chunk of the time. This brought to question 'Is this what I really want?' If this is how I feel now why would I want to keep doing this for the rest of my life?! So I looked around to see if there was something else I could do that could be just as fulfilling to me as an acting career. With not a whole lot of luck in that department. I took the advice of teacher and mentor of mine and decided to travel the world a little bit and gain a new perspective of the world. Something I did know is that if I didn't travel the world before or very shortly after my college graduation that I would never do it so I ended up going on a six week study abroad to the UK and traveled to three countries. This was by far one of the best decisions I ever made. Life itself opened its doors to me. I felt so loved and culturally fulfilled in that time I had in Europe. It also opened my eyes of why I loved theatre. But I still brought into question. 'Is this what I really want?' An artists life is not easy. There is a lot of unknown. I still had enough faith in myself to move to NYC and make it work because I did know this. I was meant to live in NYC. I knew that I would be happy in NYC. I loved the two previous summers in NYC I was lucky enough to spend in NYC and I knew enough people there that I would be alright.
Back to July 2014. I move to NYC get my life in order start working two jobs and meeting some of the coolest people I have ever met. My personal life was going great. My work life felt like a complete mess. I was not happy. I was not doing what I really wanted to do. So I ended up quitting one of the jobs and decided it was time to get back into the swing of things and give my acting career an actual shot after a six month hiatus. I figured why not? What do I have to lose here? Got back into the swing of things and I remember saying this to myself. I have to do this more me and no one else. I know that may come off as being jealous, selfish or pious but I really never really took the time to love what I did and love who I was within the art I love. It was more like a rebirth for myself. I learned to love who I was. I learned that I was enough. I also learned I really did not know my gifts they way I thought I did. I still don't. I have more knowledge of them now but I still got a lifetime to go to understand myself and my gifts. I would go to my vocal coaches, manager, and countless others to hear the same thing that I had a gift and I needed to share it. So I started going to auditions in January and started snagging callbacks and some singing gigs here and there. But during the audition season at times I was still wondering Is this what I want? After many conversations with my mother and myself trying to figure out what I was doing with my life I ended up realizing that I am right where I need to be and that Acting is the career for me. I don't know what else could truly make me happy and fulfilled. Yeah its tough. Tougher than I thought at times but I am so glad I moved to NYC to go for a career I have always wanted.
Now onto my personal life. So when I moved to NYC I told myself that I needed a friend base that was not in the realm of Theatre. I knew when moving to NYC that if all my friends where in the same business as me I would go nuts. Don't get me wrong. I love artists but there is much more to life than art. Luckily I was fortunate enough to find friends really quickly here in NYC. They have supported me through my highs and my lows and I have done the same for their lives. NYC is one of the greatest cities in the world. But with that greatness can come a sucker punch to the stomach also. NYC will chew you up, spit you out and stomp on you if you are not watching. I have been fortunate enough to be able to talk to people and have support with my friends during those times and have been able to talk about serious, crazy, funny, and odd Dylan moments throughout the week.
Usually the only time I ever really see my friends is on the weekends and something my group of friends do every Sunday evening is have a Waffle Night. We meet at someones apartment and we have an unlimited amount of waffles and whatever else we decide to bring to munch on and enjoy each others company. This group activity has made friendships stronger and also allowed us to debate and have food for thought on many theological, philosophical, political and religious ideas. Usually when you have a group of words like theological, political, and religious ideas mixed in together you are spelling trouble and argument all over it. What is so interesting about this combo of words in this group is that it always comes with an interesting outlook to things. The point of view on the topics always has everyone thinking and exploring other possibilities. Many times the discussion get can so complex that I feel like the most uneducated person in the room. I have a few friends that are too smart for my own good.
I have been very fortunate to be able to have a group of friends here in NYC listen to me and enjoy who I am. Throughout my life I have seen people come and go and the ones that have ended up staying in my life are the ones that never mention to much about my acting career and focus on bigger picture. Something that I have found interesting is when people tell me to remember them when I am famous or when they only want to hear what I do as an actor and don't want to know anything else about me, it shows me that the relationship is bound to be a 2 dimensional friendship. Please don't get me wrong I don't mind you asking me what I have going on in my career. But if that's all you care about and you only just want to be able to say oh I knew him before he became big then that's ridiculous of you to think I am going to invest my time and energy into you. Thing is It Scares the Shit out of me thinking about Fame, Fortune, Glory etc.. A lot of those things come with a cost and also are just baggage to what I want to do. And the odds of me being famous are pretty low. Its not even something I see happening in my life. I just want to Live moment to moment. I don't want to worry about Fame and those things. Its just baggage. At the end of the day I just want to be able to do what I love and be happy and content with myself. That is something that I have really been trying to fulfill in my life these last few years. Living in Utah was hard for me. I felt ostracized, unwelcome, unloved, and not worth much. I was very unhappy at times while living in Utah during my Jr High, High School and College years because I knew I would happier somewhere else. Your question may be Why didn't I just go to NYC and move on with my life when I had the opportunity earlier in life? Well timing was not right and my education was important for me to complete. I am grateful to this day I ended up staying in Utah for as long as I did. It made me a very strong independent person. I have made this comment before and I will say it again. As much as I do not like Plain City I do have to thank the people of Plain City for giving me some pretty thick skin. It definitely has made life little easier for me since I left 5 years ago. And if anyone thinks I am coming back to live in Plain City you are out of your mind.
I am different.
I have a point of view.
I am not afraid to be me.
I want to have an acting career.
I am someone who just wants to be happy and content at the end of the day.
I need family and friends who will be at my side.
I need to be able to love myself.
I need to be able to express myself
I need to be able to open my heart and let someone in my life to love me for who I am.
I am me and no one can take that away from me.
NYC has made me a better person and I don't intend going anywhere else. My discoveries of my wants and needs in life are not going to easy to always have in balance. But what I do know is this. I know what I want and need in life. Knowledge is power my friends.
Peace and Love,
Dylan
Monday, July 29, 2013
Courage
My first question to you is 'What is Courage'? Is there a definition for it? I would hope so. Look it up. No really, I'm serious. Look it up. What does it say?
In the dictionary it says 'the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery.' Yes that's a good definition for the word and is right in one manner. I believe that this definition fails to really give the true life it really has. Courage. The origins to Courage are as follows 1250–1300; Middle English corage < Old French, equivalent to cuer heart (< Latin cor; see heart) + -age -age (dictionary.com). Based off the origins the real meaning to Courage is To tell the story of who you are with your whole heart.
COURAGE: To Tell The Story Of Who You Are With Your Whole Heart.
The definition above I believe should be in the dictionary as well. I think that this definition Prizes our personal sense of truth. Who You Are is Important! Your Heart should be treasured. We as the human race should prize our heart gut and soul. Our Heart, Gut, and Soul are the collector of experience and that is scary, exciting, insane, fun, and loving. We are always collecting from experience. What I feel many people are afraid of is Telling their story with their whole heart. Its a scary thing to do. It requires trust, being able to stand up for yourself, a voice, body, and temperament within ourselves that must have depth and be pliable to LIVE through an experience.
I remember on an episode of House when Wilson says to House 'Dying is easy. Living is hard.'
Living is scary. Its tough. The Struggle sometimes absolutely sucks. But without a struggle its not worth anything. Life is built upon that. Courage is built upon that. Trust is built upon that. Our Temperament is built upon that. Its a sensitive and vulnerable thing. To tell a story of who you are with your whole heart may be the scariest thing you ever do. You may not know how you feel. You may not even remember what you even said but Living and having the courage to follow your heart and expressing who you are is your right as a individual. You have the right to express who you are.
"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart.
Try to love the questions themselves...
Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given.
Because you would not be able to live them.
And the point is to live everything.
Live the questions now.
Perhaps you will then gradually without noticing it,
Live along some distant day into the answers."
-Rainer Maria Rilke
If the only lesson this summer was understanding Courage and Trust, then I feel fairly proud of it. I Dylan Adams have discovered I have some serious trust issues. That was my exploration this summer. TO have the Courage to let go and trust another human and really live through something. I know its going to be ok. Being an actor and living through something truthfully is one of the most scary and exciting things for me. What I think is cool is jumping off the cliff into the unknown and fully taking in moment to moment. All unanticipated. Courage to really express the story of your heart is one of the greatest gifts we have on this planet. To express how we feel is your god given right. We have a right to express ourselves. Have the Courage to do so.
In the dictionary it says 'the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery.' Yes that's a good definition for the word and is right in one manner. I believe that this definition fails to really give the true life it really has. Courage. The origins to Courage are as follows 1250–1300; Middle English corage < Old French, equivalent to cuer heart (< Latin cor; see heart) + -age -age (dictionary.com). Based off the origins the real meaning to Courage is To tell the story of who you are with your whole heart.
COURAGE: To Tell The Story Of Who You Are With Your Whole Heart.
The definition above I believe should be in the dictionary as well. I think that this definition Prizes our personal sense of truth. Who You Are is Important! Your Heart should be treasured. We as the human race should prize our heart gut and soul. Our Heart, Gut, and Soul are the collector of experience and that is scary, exciting, insane, fun, and loving. We are always collecting from experience. What I feel many people are afraid of is Telling their story with their whole heart. Its a scary thing to do. It requires trust, being able to stand up for yourself, a voice, body, and temperament within ourselves that must have depth and be pliable to LIVE through an experience.
I remember on an episode of House when Wilson says to House 'Dying is easy. Living is hard.'
Living is scary. Its tough. The Struggle sometimes absolutely sucks. But without a struggle its not worth anything. Life is built upon that. Courage is built upon that. Trust is built upon that. Our Temperament is built upon that. Its a sensitive and vulnerable thing. To tell a story of who you are with your whole heart may be the scariest thing you ever do. You may not know how you feel. You may not even remember what you even said but Living and having the courage to follow your heart and expressing who you are is your right as a individual. You have the right to express who you are.
"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart.
Try to love the questions themselves...
Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given.
Because you would not be able to live them.
And the point is to live everything.
Live the questions now.
Perhaps you will then gradually without noticing it,
Live along some distant day into the answers."
-Rainer Maria Rilke
If the only lesson this summer was understanding Courage and Trust, then I feel fairly proud of it. I Dylan Adams have discovered I have some serious trust issues. That was my exploration this summer. TO have the Courage to let go and trust another human and really live through something. I know its going to be ok. Being an actor and living through something truthfully is one of the most scary and exciting things for me. What I think is cool is jumping off the cliff into the unknown and fully taking in moment to moment. All unanticipated. Courage to really express the story of your heart is one of the greatest gifts we have on this planet. To express how we feel is your god given right. We have a right to express ourselves. Have the Courage to do so.
Sunday, May 5, 2013
The Artistry in Human Nature
Seeing true artistry is an absolute gift. The embodiment of it all is just all surreal. "He who works with his hands is a laborer. He who works with his hands and his head is a craftsman. He who works with his hands, his head, and his heart is an artist." -St Francis of Assisi
Before I go any further I think people should know this because it is true. The Best Artists STEAL and Worst Artists COPY! Think about it! I am sure a light bulb will click. Its kinda mind blowing if you really look into it.
Art is a powerful way people express who we are. It is Human Nature to make art. We make art even when we don't realize it. Our very own hands can make art. The soda cans we drink is art. The Car beeping at you is art. The lights, the colors, the sun, the dark matter is art. We are ART! Our bodies are the voice and soul to ART! It is within Human Nature to produce this. It feeds what words cannot express. We sing because speech does not describe what we feel. When there are no longer words we dance. Art is a form of many things. From painting, drawing, sculpting, dancing, singing, acting and the list goes on and on. We are the voice to ART. As long as we make our voices heard ART will never die. When ART Dies Human Nature Dies.
Before I go any further I think people should know this because it is true. The Best Artists STEAL and Worst Artists COPY! Think about it! I am sure a light bulb will click. Its kinda mind blowing if you really look into it.
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Saturday, January 5, 2013
When was the last time you wrote a letter?
First off Happy New Year!
Its been over a year since I made a post and thought I should start this blog up again.
So something that I really have started loving to do on my spare time is writing letters to people. It really is an art I feel we have lost in this world. Technology really has taken over and the simplicity of writing a letter seems to be more of a hassle to people than email. Which in all reality it really takes about the same time. Letter writing is such a surreal experience. Pen Paling people you know is fun and it really is a great way to make someones day. I started writing to people randomly and also to my great friend in France Elder Horton, which that wont be lasting much longer unless I just decided to keep writing him when he gets back to Utah. But something I found this year was The World Needs More Love Letters. This really is a place I have absolutely fallen in love with. You write love letters to people in need. Its safe and secure and you never have reveal your name if you don't want to. If you want more info click on the link and it really will show you what the group is about.
Exciting news with The World Needs More Love Letters. They Have Campus Cursive Groups you can start on your campus! Me and Erica Alexandra Carvalho will be starting and running this group on the University of Utah Campus! Stay tune for the great adventure ahead. Lots of great ideas are coming along and we are excited to start this on our campus. I feel that I am giving back to my campus by providing this health and wellness tool to students, alumni, University of Utah community, staff, and faculty. I would love to have anyone interested to join me and Erica in make this the best health and wellness, community of love, and way to provide support to those in need. The power of a letter of love and care go a long way. From my personal experience I know some of my worst days get turned into the best days by a letter in the mail addressed to me by Elder Horton or someone thinking of me. Giving back is a special gift we should all think about throughout the year. How will you give back to others this year?
Its been over a year since I made a post and thought I should start this blog up again.
So something that I really have started loving to do on my spare time is writing letters to people. It really is an art I feel we have lost in this world. Technology really has taken over and the simplicity of writing a letter seems to be more of a hassle to people than email. Which in all reality it really takes about the same time. Letter writing is such a surreal experience. Pen Paling people you know is fun and it really is a great way to make someones day. I started writing to people randomly and also to my great friend in France Elder Horton, which that wont be lasting much longer unless I just decided to keep writing him when he gets back to Utah. But something I found this year was The World Needs More Love Letters. This really is a place I have absolutely fallen in love with. You write love letters to people in need. Its safe and secure and you never have reveal your name if you don't want to. If you want more info click on the link and it really will show you what the group is about.
Exciting news with The World Needs More Love Letters. They Have Campus Cursive Groups you can start on your campus! Me and Erica Alexandra Carvalho will be starting and running this group on the University of Utah Campus! Stay tune for the great adventure ahead. Lots of great ideas are coming along and we are excited to start this on our campus. I feel that I am giving back to my campus by providing this health and wellness tool to students, alumni, University of Utah community, staff, and faculty. I would love to have anyone interested to join me and Erica in make this the best health and wellness, community of love, and way to provide support to those in need. The power of a letter of love and care go a long way. From my personal experience I know some of my worst days get turned into the best days by a letter in the mail addressed to me by Elder Horton or someone thinking of me. Giving back is a special gift we should all think about throughout the year. How will you give back to others this year?
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Starting a New.
Change is something that is complicated but so rewarding. I think I have learned a few to many life lessons in the last 7 months and change and patience tend to be in the middle of it. Change is hard. Trust me I know. But what I think is interesting is that most people do not know where to start. Oddly enough its something that is not that hard. Observing it. Thats all it takes. The hard part I think people have is seeing what the problem is. But as I have been changing for the better, I have noticed that by following these three simple steps has made the process go a lot smoother.
The three steps:
1. Observing the Problem.
2. Decided if you are going to take action or not.
3. Take action on your choice and follow through.
Sounds simple. But I know its not. Habits are hard to break. Oddly enough it takes 21 days to break a habit and to create a new one. Not that long if you think about it, there are 365 days in a year and to change something in 21 days is short. I know some habits take longer than 21 days and I know some can be shorter but as we go onto a new year. Think about what you personally can do to change for the better.
One thing I am currently working on is not being so harsh on myself. I expect a lot out of myself and when I don't have patience on myself then I often run into a problem. Being so harsh on myself that it gets in the way. I am grateful I had three great people in my life tell me all at the same to give myself a break. Being aware of this has helped me a lot and I have noticed that I am improving. This change has been hard but its been for my benefit. I know there are things in my life that I cannot change or improve upon in one night and sometimes that drives me nuts. But I figured out that not enjoying the personal growth and the journey wouldn't be fun if we had everything change overnight. I realized that I was not doing that. So my goal is to have more fun and take things one day at a time and not worry about others.
I hope everyone is having a good holiday and hope as you get ready for the new year that you can figure out what you personally can improve on.
The three steps:
1. Observing the Problem.
2. Decided if you are going to take action or not.
3. Take action on your choice and follow through.
Sounds simple. But I know its not. Habits are hard to break. Oddly enough it takes 21 days to break a habit and to create a new one. Not that long if you think about it, there are 365 days in a year and to change something in 21 days is short. I know some habits take longer than 21 days and I know some can be shorter but as we go onto a new year. Think about what you personally can do to change for the better.
One thing I am currently working on is not being so harsh on myself. I expect a lot out of myself and when I don't have patience on myself then I often run into a problem. Being so harsh on myself that it gets in the way. I am grateful I had three great people in my life tell me all at the same to give myself a break. Being aware of this has helped me a lot and I have noticed that I am improving. This change has been hard but its been for my benefit. I know there are things in my life that I cannot change or improve upon in one night and sometimes that drives me nuts. But I figured out that not enjoying the personal growth and the journey wouldn't be fun if we had everything change overnight. I realized that I was not doing that. So my goal is to have more fun and take things one day at a time and not worry about others.
I hope everyone is having a good holiday and hope as you get ready for the new year that you can figure out what you personally can improve on.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Individual Nirvana: Discovering
So its been sometime since I last wrote on here so lets catch you up with my last six months! My life has been a roller coaster that wouldn't stop until the HUGE MASSIVE CRASH! So six months ago I started a self discovery journey. I started accepting a lot about myself and events in my life that I could not prevent. This came with the help a book my therapist gave me The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety. It gave me a lot incites in ways I never thought of, but because of this I started something called Radical Acceptance. I happened to be accepting so much in my life so fast that it turned my life upside down! And I probably should mention this happened in a 15 week period and I was taking 5 gen eds, 5 dances classes and still doing weekly voice lessons. So really nothing new with my busy life. But with that element it kinda changes things just a tad. Usually acceptance on many life matters takes a lot longer than 15 weeks (At least the big ones at least). But because of this, I had many puzzle pieces on the ground that I needed to pick up to keep moving forward. I cannot describe how many pieces were on the ground. It emotionally got to me and I started another phase called Emotional Indigestion. This started right around when I went on my trip to New York. Kinda of a sucky time for that start in my opinion, but life happens. I was grateful that the city I dearly love became a distraction for a week. Then after the trip, I really just was trying to survive day to day just to function and keep moving forward. I started school and then got cast in a dream show I have always wanted to be part of! HAIR! Then rehearsals and school were in full swing with the emotional indigestion at its most intense stage and then about half way through the semester I finally hit the brick wall I was waiting for and I was a mess! The brick wall started with a nice car crash. My car was almost totaled but I was ok is more importantly and I was not hurt. I then became not emotionally stable (it was so bad at some points to where you could just give me a look and I would loose it), my panic attacks were out of control (which I had not had this many in years.), plus I wasn't functioning anymore and just was ready to throw in the towel. Thankfully I had people at my side when this happened because I am pretty sure I would be out of school by now if it weren't the case. I am grateful for my therapist Dr. Sherline Dean, Lisa, Craig, Chelsea, Jaydynn, Elder Horton, and my voice teacher Brian for helping me guide me. Its been a journey I will never forget.
Its been 30 weeks and I have picked up the pieces to keep moving forward. I am functioning and my panic attacks are more just worrying now (which I just worry all the time because Im so hard on myself! I decided I cannot do that to myself anymore because its only going to hurt me.), And Emotionally.... Well Im still not fully back to normal Dylan emotion scale but I can only do so much. I got to take it one day at a time. And for what I have been through these past 30 weeks is more of a miracle! I was not the same person 30 weeks ago. I have been inspired, uplifted, and rejuvenated into a individual.
I Will Not Be Someone Else! I am Dylan and Dylan is an individual. I am finding the Balance to MY life. Though this is a life process I know I am an individual and though times can be rough I will always have people at my side that love me.
Thank you for all who read my blog. I appreciate it. Life is a discovery and we will always have it if you keep an open mind and heart to the world. Discovery happens everywhere. Its not as far away as you think. Its right next to you surprisingly. Look for the Positives and live life to the fullest.
Peace and Love :)
Its been 30 weeks and I have picked up the pieces to keep moving forward. I am functioning and my panic attacks are more just worrying now (which I just worry all the time because Im so hard on myself! I decided I cannot do that to myself anymore because its only going to hurt me.), And Emotionally.... Well Im still not fully back to normal Dylan emotion scale but I can only do so much. I got to take it one day at a time. And for what I have been through these past 30 weeks is more of a miracle! I was not the same person 30 weeks ago. I have been inspired, uplifted, and rejuvenated into a individual.
I Will Not Be Someone Else! I am Dylan and Dylan is an individual. I am finding the Balance to MY life. Though this is a life process I know I am an individual and though times can be rough I will always have people at my side that love me.
Thank you for all who read my blog. I appreciate it. Life is a discovery and we will always have it if you keep an open mind and heart to the world. Discovery happens everywhere. Its not as far away as you think. Its right next to you surprisingly. Look for the Positives and live life to the fullest.
Peace and Love :)
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